A Hairy Situation

“How did you know?” I asked, not sure I wanted the answer. I thought I had been careful. I didn’t think she…

Had noticed the hair that started to grow rapidly only a week ago. And not just the hair on my head, but everywhere. I shaved my face, neck, arms, and knuckles every morning. And there were already five trash bags of hair waiting at my apartment door to be taken out.

I mean, she only saw me in the early mornings during our brief team planning meetings. The hair never started to grow back until at least noon.

I thought I’d be able to go through this change like a normal person. But I guess I wasn’t really a normal person anymore.

I thought back to my big hiking trip. I had always heard the myth, but it wasn’t until I saw him that I knew my life would change. I thought I would be rich and go down in history as the man who finally proved Bigfoot was real.

That giant, hairy jerk  had taken one look at me and charged. I thought I was a dead man. But he just stuck out his huge tongue and licked my whole face with it.

I had been disgusted of course, seeing as his breath had smelt like a rotting carcass. I hadn’t thought his saliva would be caring the virus that turned Bigfoot into a monster in the first place. It was the perfect perfect defense mechanism.

My Monday was going worse than usual, I thought, as I waited for my bosses reply.


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